The Sexiest Way To Lose Weight


It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. 

Unless you lay there like a dead fish, sex can be a great work out, and not only sex, but everything leading up to it and after as well. So everyone out there complaining about being fat, just start going off in the bedroom after you eat your 7 cheeseburgers and you will burn those calories right off, you have no excuses anymore. 

Below is the complete breakdown of everything done before, during, and after sex, and the calories you burn while doing it. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results. Sexual Calorie Counter

REMOVING HER CLOTHES: 
With her consent......................................................... 12 Calories 
Without her consent................................................... 187 Calories 

OPENING HER BRA: 
With both hands............................................................. 8 Calories 
With one hand.............................................................. 12 Calories 
With your teeth............................................................. 85 Calories 

PUTTING ON A CONDOM: 
With an erection............................................................. 6 Calories 
Without an erection..................................................... 315 Calories 

PRELIMINARIES: 
Trying to find the clitoris.................................................. 8 Calories 
Trying to find the G-Spot............................................... 92 Calories 

POSITIONS: 
Missionary................................................................... 12 Calories 
69 lying down............................................................... 78 Calories 
69 standing up............................................................ 112 Calories 
Wheelbarrow.............................................................. 216 Calories 
Doggy Style................................................................ 326 Calories 
Italian chandelier......................................................... 912 Calories 

ORGASMIC: 
Real........................................................................... 112 Calories 
False.......................................................................... 315 Calories 

POST ORGASM: 
Lying in bed hugging...................................................... 18 Calories 
Getting up immediately................................................... 36 Calories 
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately............. 816 Calories 

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 
20-29 years old........................................................... 36 Calories 
30-39 years................................................................. 80 Calories 
40-49 years............................................................... 124 Calories 
50-59 years............................................................... 972 Calories 
60-69 years............................................................. 2916 Calories 
70 and over................................................ Results are still pending 

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS: 
Calmly........................................................................ 32 Calories 
In a hurry..................................................................... 98 Calories 
With her father knocking at the door......................... 1218 Calories 
With your wife knocking at the door......................... 3521 Calories


I still skeptical about all these data actually. Hohohohoooohooo...

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